The Best of P!nk

These are some of my favorite songs by P!nk...I can't remember them all though so I'm sure I am missing a few of them ;P 

And just because I love this song ;P Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne.....

In case you hadn't noticed....it is Halloween....which normally is one of my favorite holidays of the year. I'm not doing anything for it this year. It just feels like another normal October evening....and all day it hasn't felt very Halloweeny....It makes me sad....Have some Halloween pictures now though!

Witches :}

I don't know if the gifs are being gifful....but I sure hope they are, if not this is the link to the witch gif because that one is just awesauce.... http://davidkiyokawa.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/halloween-animated-2.gif

NaNoWriMo

Well, NaNoWriMo starts very soon. I'm excited....I have a story ready to be written. I have absolutely no clue where I want the story to go, but I have an idea. I of course have another story idea as well...but that one doesn't count because well hey I don't want to count it XD It's my dream story....I start my sleeping off with making up a story from where I remember stopping the night before until I fall asleep. I never seem to get very far in the story because I always get sidetracked and end up going back to the beginning and starting over...but yeah dream stories ;P
ANYWHO I was talking about NaNoWriMo....my story idea I am sure I have already shared on here. I was inspired by the gangs that I heard about while in Guatemala. Gangs are sort of an obsession with me. I think I am going to have to do some research on gangs for this story though. I want this story as accurate as possible, not just a story that has inaccuracies. I tend to write that type of story...I want to try a whole different type of story writing! I'm going to have to make it a romance novel of course, because that is all I ever write. I never don't have any romance in my stories :\ It bugs me..... I don't want romance and yet it ends up happening every time :\
When we were watching a movie in Spanish class last week I found out that mercenaries paid by the USA were what made up the gangs in Mexico today. I thought that was really interesting....so I'm definitely going to have to do some research on gangs. Of course I don't know anything about gangs now a days so I've been debating about having a story that was written in the 1920s. That is one of my favorite time periods...The only problem is I just read a story about gangs in the 1920s and I'm not sure I want to write a story in the time period now because it feels too much like copying even though it has a different idea....it's still a love story...in the same time period....with gangs....
But yeah I'm excited for NaNoWriMo! :D

LOVE this song....and it's stuck in my head....so HERE

Mufasa

Please excuse there being no accentos cuando there should be....I don't exactly know how to do that XD Here's a poem I wrote about Mufasa from the Lion King in Spanish today :}

Mufasa,
el rey de todos las tierras,
sobre un acantilado,
el salio.

Mufasa,
el rey de todos las tierras,
extraordinario alma,
el fue.

Mufasa,
el rey de todos las tierras,
el mundo lloro cuando,
el muerto.

Mufasa,
el rey de todos las tierras,
en el cielo,
el ahora vive.

Mufasa,
el rey de todos las tierras,
nostoros acordaremos,
para todos la hora.

Mufasa,
el rey de todos las tierras.

Facebook Conversations

Yeah so I had a bunch of fun today on Facebook with one person. See I got into an argument over a swear word. I swore and then when I got reprimanded for it I went back and used the editing option Facebook now has to offer and I changed the word to not a swear word. I'm not sure if the person realized that I had done this or was just saying that butt is a swear word. I did not realize butt is a swear word if that is the case though, because butt definitely is not a swear word. Everyone uses the word butt! Here's the conversation though!

Me: That's who I want to paint my ass butt van! 

Friend: Watch your language Mildred!

Me: *changes ass to butt with Facebook's fancy "edit" option*  what you mean? XD there's nothing wrong with it ^.^

Friend: Except the not nice swear word!

Me: I see no swear word >.>

Friend: I do

Me: WHERE? D:

Friend: Between ugly and van!

Me: It says Butt between said words? ' that isn't a swear word!

Friend: Yes it is! It is not a good word, and you shouldn't say it

Me: Butt isn't a swear word Kaitlin <.< Everyone has a butt.....and that's what people call them in normal everyday conversations <.< don't you talk about your BUTT in normal everyday conversations? XD

Friend: No Mildred. I don't actually, and if for some reason I did, I would use words that aren't appropriate to do so

Me: what is the more appropriate word for butt? ' I'm so confused....

Twitter

I think I might have to start using twitter...the only problem being I don't know how to use twitter because yeah. Though my Wattpad has used my twitter just fine and given me almost 2,000 tweets since I have gotten twitter....but yeah....anyway HERE

Also....we call my little sister Twitter because she never stops talking XD

Tardis Gloves

Well my mum decided that she was okay with me using more of her royal blue yarn that she didn't want me to use of. I didn't have school today, so I spent the day (after I woke up around noon) crocheting and watching Doctor Who. I actually am not that into Doctor Who....it has a good storyline (kinda not really) but the filming is awful. The acting is okay.....it depends on the actor/actress but it isn't super good most of the time....the special effects are really not good at all....but yeah just saying. Anyway, I spent the day making the tardis gloves I was talking about. They are fingerless and I'm not really happy with them. I just modified that hat pattern that I had so it doesn't exactly look completely good. I'm debating on making little pom-poms to put on the top of the gloves to be like the light of the tardis ya know, I might try it out just to see how it looks. The letters are better on this one than on the hat because I did end up finding a needle I could use for them instead of using a crochet hook. These gloves look crappy though when compared to gloves you can find on the internet.....

A Conversation

Person A: *sends this picture to Person B* Lulz
Person B: I don't get it. That picture isn't even funny.
Person A: It is when you send it to the unloveliest person ever
Person B: *hurt*

How are you supposed to even react to that? D:

Tardis Hat

The hat.

The "B" didn't work out very well

The finished version

One of my friends gave me the great idea of making the tardis hat...and by gave me the idea I mean I showed him a picture of a tardis hat and told him I was going to make one. It was actually not as hard as I thought it was going to be to make it. See I had found this pattern online, which I had no clue how to read crochet patterns....My mum had to help me out on that aspect. She also had to teach me how to double crochet, which I had absolutely no clue how to do until Saturday when I made the hat. So she taught me how to do the whole double crochet. I was practically done with the pattern and it didn't look anything like a hat so I had to undo the whole thing and start over. My second try I got it ^.^ I made the whole hat on Saturday, even with having to undo the whole thing and start over. I didn't start working on it until the afternoon either cause I slept the morning away like a cool kid. The words were probably the hardest part of the whole thing. I couldn't get them the way I wanted, and I just think the words look awful....especially the B's....I couldn't get those at all.....Digital 8's are what they look like.....But yeah with a lot of help from my mum (meaning she taught me a few new crocheting methods) I managed to make a Tardis hat :} I'm pretty proud of it.

Now I wish I had more of the royal blue yarn to make my favorite gloves to go with the hat.....

Don't Take The Girl

This song....I absolutely love it. Its like the type of love story that everyone wants.....and yeah I love it....

Children

So I love my friends. I love them. They made my day yesterday so much brighter (yay grammar). Seriously though, we ended up acting like children and mother because two of us were arguing (playfully of course). Other than one day last year, I can't remember a time when I laughed as hard as I did yesterday because of them. Everything I was saying was being twisted to mean something just wrong and inappropriate and then our "mummy" would put us in time out....needless to say I had imaginary permanent markers in my pocket and I just happened to color all over the whole room and on the other child's face. It was so great that eventually our "mummy" left the chat because we were epic. She took her role pretty seriously too. She would make a great actress. But yeah, my friends, I love them :}
Oh and I plan on learning how to make a doctor who hat now :D IT'S GONNA BE EPIC! :} I'm not sure if I'm actually going to follow the pattern that I got or if I'm just gonna make a hat and then add on what needs to be added on.....

Speaking

So I have come to realize something in the last couple days of school that really is bothering me. I have a speech issue. I can't read books out loud because I stumble over words and people make fun of me for it, I also start stuttering slightly at times. Though my stutter isn't a real stutter, it just gets annoying that I can't get the word out as fast as I want to. Then there's also my speaking to people problem. If someone were to talk to me for a period of time they would start noticing it. I have problems with forming sentences. Just listen to me talk and you can catch me skipping words that need to be in the sentence to make it a sentence and stuff. I basically am just saying phrases to get my point across but not enough to make it a real sentence. It sounds really bad and makes speaking quite hard at times. Like when I'm trying to get people to understand and I'm skipping words when I have it exactly right in my head. I hear myself say it wrong, even when I have the words in my head! Yeah I am getting annoyed with me talking.
To explain what's going on with me I have an analogy, kinda sorta.....So I write out speeches when I have to give a speech, like word for word what I am going to say. Then when I get in front of people, I completely freak out. I want to get out of there as fast as possible. Well that's when I start cutting parts out of my speech so that I can get out of there faster. That's basically what I'm doing when I'm talking. I'm cutting parts out of what I'm saying so I can be done talking faster.....

Religious Education

So today in my religious education class, we were learning about Inner Beauty. Basically all that I got from what we were talking about is that the inner beauty is what really matters and that the only way you can have inner beauty is you are ugly on the outside. Like seriously all the people were talking about how they knew someone that looked gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous. Then when they got to know them, they would find out that the person is actually a really big douche (not the words they used because hey I was in church). There was no one that was talking that said they knew someone pretty on both the inside and outside. So yeah people, the only people that are actually nice are the not pretty looking people. Don't judge books by the cover? XD lolz

Oh did I mention that I got this all from the video we were watching? Good job "RealFaith TV" the Inner Beauty edition! Did I take away the right thing? :} Just kidding....it was a good show.....I probably just noticed something not a lot of people would notice.....

Band

So we had a band competition on Saturday, actually we had two, at the last one though we came away with this purple guy here. I'm pretty darn proud of our band for this. We went from barely anybody being in our band and sucking to a lot more people in band and being awesauce! We got first place at the last competition of the day and a high, extremely high two point from Division 1, Division 2 rating at the first one! I love my band family and I'm so proud of them!

Orchestra

So I'm angry. I'm beyond pissed off. I don't even know how to describe how I feel right now. I was given THIRD CHAIR in the cello section of Orchestra. Some of you are probably like, so what who cares? Well I care. See, I'm a senior this year. It was my hope that I would be first chair this year, in fact it was my expectation. Every year it has always been the seniors get the first chairs in cello. EVERY YEAR. So come to my senior year, of course I was expecting first chair. No instead we had to do chair placement auditions, which I tried on! I tried so hard to do good. I don't give a shit that I'm not the best cello player. It is my right as a senior to have first chair. I know that I sound really selfish and all, but I feel jipped. It doesn't even matter what chair people have because we all have the same music, so I don't see why we can't just stick with the tradition of seniors getting first chair. I'm seriously considering dropping out of Orchestra at semester too. Our teacher is being a complete bitch this year. She was a heck of a lot nicer last year. Now she is always yelling at us and getting all pissy. She needs to calm the fuck down.

The Truth

Sometimes life sucks. Never mind, life always sucks. There never is a moment in life where it doesn't suck. I mean seriously. Shouldn't we be questions WHY life sucks so much. I don't understand why it has to suck. Everything sucks. When life gives you lemons you just go with it. Well I can't just go with it. I can't go on. The stars burn, they fall too. Sometimes I wish I was a star. Stars burn, when they fall they die. Stars don't live like this. Their life can't suck as much as human life does, because seriously LIFE SUCKS. Everything is just awful. I don't understand why life is this way. Why can't we all just have a happy life? Why does life have to be so awful. Why does everyone have to put people down.
The truth is that I am tired. I am tired of life. I am tired of being put down all the time. I am tired of everyone. I am tired of people. I don't want to see another person ever again. Most of all though, I want to stop this pain. I don't want to have to experience this pain any longer. I just want it to go away. The pain of living can just be too much sometimes....

Depression

I think I'm going to have to start taking my anti-d's again. My depression has come back full force and I just cannot seem to shake it off. I just want it to go away. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. It is getting increasingly harder to act that I'm happy at school. It's getting increasingly harder to put a smile on my face. By the time I get home from school each day, I am ready to cry. In fact I'm ready to cry before I get home! As I am leaving school it is like a huge weight is being pressed into me more so than when I'm in school. I don't know why it has to get worse once I leave the school, it's not like it isn't already extremely bad. I mean today I think I was really rude in my band lesson because I was just gone. I couldn't get past my depression at all there. It was there to stay at that moment. I feel really bad about it, but I couldn't stop it. It's like I know what's happening. I know that my depression is descending on me. I can't tell you why though. I can't explain why I'm feeling that way. I feel helpless against it. I feel so hopeless against it. I don't understand why it comes and goes like this. It should just stay gone! I don't want to tell my mum that I need my drugs back. I don't want to be dependent on drugs to be happy, but sometimes it just feels like that is all I have. I feel like I have to pretend to be perfectly fine around my mum as well too. My own family doesn't really seem to accept that I have problems. They make fun of me for it. My mum doesn't, but the rest of my family does. My mum just always seems to worried about me when I am on my pills. It doesn't help that we are talking about disorders in Psychology and I know exactly which ones I have and which symptoms I have. I don't want people to know. I mean, I'm perfectly fine with everyone knowing that I have social anxiety that makes me sick to my stomach and extremely light headed. I don't want them to know how severe my depression can be though. I don't want them to know a lot of stuff about my mental healthy and I think that with learning about the disorders people will be able to tell what disorders I have. I just want my depression to back off.

Pinky Finger

I swear to dragons,
You foul evil little finger,
That I will cut you off,
Like chop chop chop,
If you don't start to bend,
Like a normal finger!
I will chop you,
I will slaughter you,
If you don't start behaving,
I have grown tired,
Of your pathetic bending,
Popping into place,
Getting stuck where you are,
Pinky finger if you don't
SHAPE UP SOON,
Your days will be numbered.
I swear to dragons,
I speak the truth.