Turtles Solve All Problems

It came to my knowledge the other day, that not everyone knows about turtle kissing. KISSING A TURTLE WILL SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS. It's really legit. See there is a story about how the turtles came to be.....

Hippos eat seahorses while they are looking for candy mountain where they heard all the turtles that would solve all the world problems were hidden at. The seahorse meat gave the hippos the knowledge to find candy mountain, and so the hippos brought the turtles back here. That is why the turtles now are everywhere. If you want your problems to be solved, just kiss a turtle. Everything is solved with a turtle kiss! 

JUST SO YA KNOW :}