So I hope that I can get back on here for often. I need to get some stress out of my system which tends to be me just writing about whatever comes into my mind.
Last night my dad got really mad and decided to scare the shit out of his children. I know that families are all fucked-up and all...but still that doesn't make it right to get mad. He is just stressed out about work and all but still! The dog got on his bed.....he freaked out and yelled at the dog who went running. The dog was so scared that he went under out couch, which is a tight fit, to hide from him. All the while my dad is SCREAMING for my little sister to get her ass downstairs and watch her "fucking dog". He throws the couch over and my little sister is down stairs now...yelling at the dog to come in a terrified voice. She takes him upstairs quickly and my dad then leaves the house to go pick up my brother. My little sister comes back down a little bit later and takes a phone upstairs to her room with her...I think she went to call my mom.
When all these tantrums my dad throws started, we were always told to just stay away from him. Go to our rooms or go outside, as far away from him as possible. I was working on my homework at that time so I couldn't even leave the same room because I was on the desktop and I couldn't save what I was doing....I got to go downstairs after I was done with my homework and cry myself to sleep. I think I'm depressed again...oh lucky me....
Then today was an okay day at school...I found out I got a F on my chemistry test, which means my grade is a D because it is so weighted. I didn't expect anything better though because my mind...I have no clue where it is anymore. It just doesn't stay around. This year is so bad for me because I can't focus on anything and when I do I can't remember it. This year is also one of the hardest I've had so far. I have to study harder for chemistry now because I can't afford to keep failing these tests...which are super hard and so much harder to understand than the actual homework is!
I went to the park after school and just hung out there to relieve some stress. It worked until I went to church. Church just makes me more stressed because I know that I need to get home and get my homework done but I have to sit through a retreat that was two hours long. I have early bird tmro and I actually should have been asleep over two hours ago, thanks church.
I'm just so stressed out about something and I have no clue what I'm stressed out about. Everything makes me want to start crying....
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