Follow your dreams. Quote #3

Follow your dreams 

and the universe will open doors 

for you where there were only walls.

            Well there was this little girl, the age of 2. She had so many siblings that she just didn't have a thing to do in the house. They were all older than her, and had used all her parents money to go to college for themselves. So when she grows up she won't be able to go to college unless she can get a scholarship. Well this girl was taught at the age of 3 to speak all the languages that her siblings had learned, each one would take turns teaching her. Then her parents would teach her how to read and write. Her oldest brother, age of 46, taught her math, geography, history, and any tidbits that he knew. He was a teacher himself so she learned many things and by the time she was 7 and ready for kindergarten she was already ready to go into college. They wouldn't put her in college of course, because she was so young. Instead she went through elementary school each day, having so much fun. Then in middle school she started to be bullied for her smartness.

                At times she would come home from school crying because of the bullies, but her parents were sweet and made her feel better. Every night, the girls siblings would hold a meeting about what to do about the bullies. They came up with a system. Since their sister had been taught from a young age all of these subjects, she had missed out on an important part of her childhood, having fun. She played games with her siblings yes, but not for long and she didn't make other friends. Just inside her family. So her siblings were very close to her, and they all loved her. They decided that they would protect her no matter what. 

They would walk her to school. And walk her home, but the problem was during the school day. Her youngest siblings was a freshman in high school and never saw her, so the plan was to help her learn how to make friends. Her siblings friends were willing to help her, and soon she was a social butterfly. As she made friends she realized that she would love to become someone that was like a comedian to these people. She looked to the janitor that worked at the high school. When she hit 8th grade, her parents had her start applying for colleges all around. She of course, was accepted into them all, then she was to apply for scholarships. Every school offered her a full scholarship for any career that she wished to pursue. She didn't want to though. Her parents had taken over her decision making a while back, and decided that she should go to law school. They were sure that she would become a supreme court judge. She didn't want to though.

                When she was being taught by her older brother, he had told her a quote that had always stuck with her during the time that they had worked on poems and quotes. "Follow your dreams and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." She remembered this as she tried to come up with a way to explain to her parents that her dreams weren't in becoming a judge, she wanted to be able to humor people. She didn't want to be smart anymore. The Second semester she came up with a plan, she started to flunk all of her classes. When one of her teachers confronted her about it, she lamely said, "I just can't remember anything anymore. I must have gone stupid." Her teacher knew something was up so he asked her what was bothering her. She admitted that she didn't want to follow her parents wishes. She wanted to go through high school and then maybe go to college as an average student. She didn't want to have a prefect 4.0, she didn't want people to bully her for who she was, she didn't want to be her parents perfect child. She wanted a say in what the rest of her life would be like. The teacher said the same quote that her brother always said to her and added, "If that's what you want go for it. There is a way to get there. Just trust in yourself that you will get there."

                       So she went back to getting good grades. She went to school to be a teacher. Then she applied to a school to be a janitor there. She loved her job. She would go about the school doing all her duties, and then all awhile she would help the students out with their problems. She was the go to person if they needed help in anything, and she was always cheerful. The universe really had helped her accomplish her dreams of helping people and making them happy. Her parents hadn't been thrilled, but when they saw how happy she was they accepted it. The walls were gone now and she was in a room full of doors and windows she could go through. The students loved her and there were so many schools that would love to have her be at their school. She was offered good money to go to some schools, but she chose the one that she had gone to when she was little and the teacher that had confronted her always had a smile on his face knowing that he had helped a young student of his. 

Church Church Church

Yea today was Wednesday....church day....sat in class (after being late) txting the whole time and not listening. I'm sorry but I just don't believe in the idea of church. I mean...if God loves us so much why do we have to go to church and learn about him and such? He wants us to do good in the world so going to church isn't going to help us get that done. The world is falling to pieces around us and yet I'm still expected to go to church just to learn about what they did way back when (which is just a collection of random stories that aren't nessisarily true) instead of going out and HELPING the community. I would be okay if every Wednesday we did a community service project...but I ain't okay with the whole learning thing. I did that when I was little...I know enough to know that we are supposed to do good stuff in the world, that's all I need to know because I live on the need to know basis. That's what I think about Sunday Mass too....it's a waste of time. We could be doing a community service project while we are doing all this praying or something. I mean...yea we take donations for the poor and all, but we could be doing so much more if we went OUT and got it done. There's so much stuff that we could do, but instead we have to sit around in a church and "listen" (I actually am day dreaming the whole time) about all this God stuff. If God really wanted us to know something he can just put it in our heads....that's what they taught me at least....God gives you answers you seek when you ask and tells you random stuff all the time. So church in general is an unneeded building that we should just use to house homeless people or something. That's what they did with monastaries and stuff ain't it? They would let people stay at their monastary, though I guess they did make them pay. What if everything in this world was free? everything divided equally with the people that wanted it? We wouldn't have so many problems if that was true. In fact there wouldn't be any homeless people. But people are selfish, I'm not going to admit that I'm not selfish, but I try not to be...it just gets the best of me sometimes. Like Thomas Hobbes said during the Enlightenment, "People are born naturally wicked." So shouldn't we be trying to prove him wrong? Shouldn't we be trying to help others as much as possible? We got the government that he said was wrong and would lead us to our distruction...well guess what...he is right. We are heading towards doom and if we don't look back and start helping the needy soon then there won't be a USA anymore...or any other country. It'll just be a big hole in the world where the earth was bombed by someone.


Okay...Done with my random rant :)

Do not stand at my grave and weep by: Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave bereft

I am not there. I have not left. Well I'm randomly using stumbleupon and I stumbled on this poem which I really kinda like :P That's what wikipedia/stumble is for I guess :) The poem was written by Mary Frye, an orphan, and the story behind it is actually rather interesting. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_not_stand_at_my_grave_and_weep) if you don't want to read my paraphrase.... It's pretty much that these people that Mary was living with, one of the ladies mom's died and the lady couldn't go to her mothers funeral or even visit her grave. That's what inspired this poem and Mary just wrote it down on a brown paper bag before sending it around. :) I enjoyed this poem.

Dont find love. Quote #2

Dont find love, Let Love Find You. 

That's why it's called Falling in Love,

Because you don't force yourself to fall,

You Just Fall.. 

There once was a girl named Luv. She was in search of this person named Fall. It was in a prophecy that she had read that this person, Fall, was her soul mate. So she was always on the hunt. When she was at school....she would look behind every nook and corner, and in her dreams she would dream of what Fall would look like. Well her faithful friend was always trying to help her find this person named Fall. So he would keep an eye out for him, but he never could find him. Luv and her friend did everything that a couple would do, except for when they went someplace they were listening out for someone to say the name "Fall". 

Well her friend, Otono, found that he was in love with luv as the time went by that they were looking for Fall. Luv realized that she was in love with Otono also. She didn't say anything though, but as time went on, they had stopped looking so hard for Fall, and had started to enjoy being out together. One night when Otono walked her home, they stopped outside her door and he bent slowly towards her. With his hand gently holding the back of her head he kissed her softly on the lips. 

Luv's mom, who had been watching them closely, flickered the lights on the porch and they broke apart quickly. Luv blushed and looked rather confused. "The prophecy says that I am to love Fall. How can it be that I love you?" 

"Well Luv, maybe it is because that prophecy of yours, I figured it out the other day. It's not really a prophecy, it's just a saying. With you spending so much thought in it being a prophecy though, it sort of worked like a prophecy. I love you and I fell for you."

"I love you too," Luv said with a smile, understanding how silly she had been. "I still want to consider it a prophecy though...We shall just have to rename you to Fall," jokingly Luv hugged Otono and said goodnight to him. After she had gone inside, Otono smiled and started to walk away. 

With a whisper he told the whole world but her, "Otono means Fall in spanish. She just had to fall for me herself instead of because of that prophecy of hers." 

Towards the end of their senior year of college together, Luv informed Otono that he had lied to her. "You're name is Fall! Why did you not ever tell me?"

"I wanted you to love me for me and not for the prophecy. Plus would you have wanted to date me if the prophecy forced you to? That isn't how I would want a relationship. You did fall for me didn't you?" Otono asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well of course I did. I'm just thinking about all those years that we could have been together if I hadn't been so focused on finding Fall. I love you though yes, and just because you lied to me doesn't change that at all," Luv replied with a smile, leaning back into his arms as they watched a movie in Otono's apartment. Otono gave her a little nudge though, and Luv moved away a bit, turning to look at him.Getting down on one knee, he pulled out a beautiful ring from his pocket. It was the most beautiful ring he had ever seen.

"My Luv, will you be so find as to marry me and make the prophecy of yours come true? We are definately those soul mates that you were always talking about, and all those years that we were searching for Fall, we can be together for so many more that it would make up for them. What do you say?" With tears in her eyes, Luv allowed Otono to slip the ring onto her finger and gave him a kiss, nodding yes happily.

Blisters go pop pop pop

Well today after church...my family went into iowa city and we had oh so much fun (not). Everyone was kinda grumpy.....And when we got back from the mall out that way...I went out and cleaned my horse stall which was in desperate need of cleaning....I now have blisters on my hands proving to me that I need to get outside more...
Yesterday I had my sister riding and my pony was greatly not behaving so I decided that I would just have to work with him more. I went out today to work with him and had him lungeing...he decided he didn't want to do that. I got in a fair amount of exercise today and I plan on going downstairs and working on my leg muscles....I need them to get stronger if I plan on riding my older sister's pony (Party). He is a lot bigger than my pony (who is too small for me).

My sister is making me hurry up....so I shall get my story quote in later :) later as in when I get on the laptop :P

A bedtime story for yall

Once upon a napkin...lived 3 blind hippos. They weren't wanted around because they were always ripping the napkin.  One day, hippo #1, Joya decided she had had enough of her miserable life and went to live with the angels. The other 2blind hippoz were really sad and cried through the funeral. Then the second one, Mila couldn't take it anymore and went to live with the devil. Kam, the 3rd hippo was so upset that he went out of his way to make the creatures who lived on the napkin rem what they did. Kam lived forever keeping all from having no way out like his hippo friends had felt.


Lolz actually this was my bedtime story written for a Mr. Kyle :P

:c

I'm a weird child....but I didn't get my "hi" of the day from one of my broz friends (and yes I have most of them saying hi to me....it's in the code) so I'm rather sad :c

I'll write later...but it's late and I have to work tmro so Im off 2 bed...story will come another day I guess.

In the mean time...enjoy some random Urban Dictionary meanings.....

Message Anxiety: The act of pausing, freezing up, dreading, or avoiding the viewing of a E-mail, text message, or voice mail that you fear might be bad, negetive, or of major importance for you.

Pissed: British - drunk
American - really mad

"Oi, look at Tim! He's pissed off his ass! Haha!"
"Man, I'm fuckin pissed!"

Nvm...I'm going to make some time to be a little bitchy. I just can't think right now I want to go on one of my famous barefoot walks (to be told about later)...but I can't because it's too cold out and my parents will freak out and why do I always have to do everything right! For some reason I really feel like crying right now....I'm not even sure why...I'm just in such a bad mood and just want to cry myself to sleep except I don't want anyone to see me cry so I can't go to sleep because my sister is down there. 

What is going on with me today...what is going on. I'm reading a really depressing book right now that I shouldn't read because I already have suicidal thoughts but I am reading it anyways.

That's the book I'm reading...a book that explains why she committed suicide. I think it would be a good idea if I made my reasons why I WANT to....key word is want though...no one go freaking out on me now. That's all for now folks....I'm going to go kill a punching bag.

Wall-e

This is one strange movie....everyone got fat....I don't like it....it's just not right....

Never say....Quote #1

never say "i love you" if you don't really care;
never talk abut feelings if they're not really there;
never hold my hand if you're going to break my heart;
never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start;
never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie;
never say "hi", if you really ...mean "goodbye";

if you really mean forever, then say that you'll try;

never say forever, because forever makes me cry;

Well....Here is the first quote and the first story that I have to give to you. I am watching Wall-e right now so there might be some references to that (this is the first time I have ever watched it). Ok so here it goes *big breath* focus focus *in character*

 Hello everyone, My name is Sly. People don't like me because of my name at times. They think that I am going to do something sneaky because of it, so I go through every day with no love from anyone around really. So we are in math class and everyone is talking about the dance that is this weekend. It's a couples only dance, so I can't go. Well I guess I could go if I asked some friend to come with me, but what friend would want to go with me? That's the problem I have. Even my friends don't trust me. There is this one girl in class that I really like though. Her name is Kylie...So I am going to ask her, I just know that if I don't ask her then there will be no end to my shame. So today in math class is the day I decide to ask her.
     I write a note to her and fold it into a paper airplane. "Kylie," it says, "I know that no one likes me, but I would love it if you would be so kind as to go to the dance this weekend with me." I signed my name "Sly" in neat pen and then send the plane gliding. 
     Sometimes the teacher notices when people pass notes....or in my case make paper airplane notes. It was just my luck that she say it and took it from Kylie. She doesn't really like me much either, the teacher that is, and she read my note to Kylie to the whole entire class.
      "Sly, we do NOT throw notes in my class room. Now class who thinks that I should read it out to you all?" There was a rustle as the people that were dozing in class all raised their hands quickly and looked alert for maybe their first time in class. I agree with them though, our math teacher has got to be the boringest teacher that we have in this school. I don't pay much attention, but then again I'm a genius so it's okay. I get good grades and everything. Anyways, so they all raised their hands and the teach read the note out to us. 
    "Kylie, I know that no one like me, but I would love it if you would be so kind as to go to the dance this weekend with me," The teach read in a mocking tone. "And Kylie, what is it that you have to say to this?"
     Kylie blushed and pulled out a piece of paper quietly. She quickly jotted down something and handed it to the teach. "Sly, I will go with you to the dance only because you completely humiliated me in front of the class and you now owe me big time. I expect payment." The teach read out to the class, Kylie smiled shyly at me and then packed up her stuff into her bag. Everyone followed her example, even though the teach announced, "Now class keep working on your homework,you still have a few minutes left of class." As always, we ignored her and a few minutes later the bell rang. 
     "Well Kylie looks like you are taking a nerd to the dance," one of Kylie's friends, Amanda joked as I walked slowly passed.
     "I guess so," Kylie replied back, "I'll be right there girls, Sly and me have something that we need to take care of right now." He said it in an almost threatening voice, and I flinched, but kept walking. I didn't want her to tell me off while we were around so many people. It was lucky that it was the end of the day and everyone was heading out to their space ships that their robots were driving so that it was easy for me to find an empty hallway. The robot bus that I needed to get on would be gone before I got there, as always, but I could live with that. 
      "Sly, stop walking away from me!" Kylie growled at me. 
      "I'm sorry? I didn't realize she was watching when I sent that note!" I murmured back. "And what do you need for pay back?"
     "Well I haven't decided yet. I guess you are doing me a favor anyways...I didn't have anyone to go to the dance with anyways. But I will tell you this once and only once, you are going to be picking me up at exactly 8:30pm and we will go to the dance for one hour only. At 9:30 we will leave and do something else. I don't know where, but the dances can be so terribly boring. Now I know that you missed the bus so come on, I'll give you a lift home." Kylie softly murmured and walked off without a backwards glance. I followed her slowly and she did just as she said. Her "car" let me use the rope that hung off of it and when we got to my home planet I let go. It was lucky that Kylie lived on the same planet or I would have been screwed.
    
      So let's fast forward....To the part were I have picked her up for the dance and we are now at the point of leaving the dance because it is exactly 9:30. We were dancing most of the time that we were there, except she was talking to her friends that danced next to us. I was just like a tag along really. Kylie gave her friends a lame excuse of why she had to leave and we quickly left the dance. She dragged me to my "car". The one that my parents had let me borrow. I didn't know where we were going to go so she commanded us to the area that she decided she wanted to go.
   "Ok Sly, I had a good time tonight. Now come on we are going to have so much more fun yet tonight."
    "Where are we headed?"
    "Here....this place is what some people call Eaarrrrrrrrrrthye. We aren't exactly sure why they call it that....but we just go with it. So you have to know the password to get in though. It's a club....and has way better dancing places. Now come on come on, I don't want to be late. Repeat after me....never say "i love you" if you don't really care;
never talk abut feelings if they're not really there;
never hold my hand if you're going to break my heart;
never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start;
never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie;
never say "hi", if you really ...mean "goodbye";
if you really mean forever, then say that you'll try;
never say forever, because forever makes me cry;....."
"Is that seriously the password Kylie?" 
"Yea isn't it really long....I like it though." Kylie stated with a smile and watched me expectantly.

"Okay well then....I will never say that I love you unless I really do care,
I won't talk about the feelings that aren't there,
I won't hold your hand just to break your heart,
I won't say I'm going to do something and not even play to start,
I won't tell you a lie if I'm looking in your eyes,
and I am not going to ever say goodbye.
I will try for forever, though I won't so that, 
because I would hate to make you cry." I told her and then hugged her. 
"That isn't what I said the password was," Kylie smiled happily, "but you got it right, let's go."

And with that we walked into the club that she had said we were going to. Just like she had said too, this club was way better than the dance was.

Rocketeer

So I don't have time to make a story about a quote today...but I will tell you a little about today. Today I was super tired because my poor baby is scared of thunderstorms and it had rained last night so he was crying all night. Didn't get much sleep from that so I was falling asleep in class. We had to sign up for classes today for next year (fun fun fun). After school and all that....I talked to my bro (Paul) and we decided that we were going to skip church class tonight. I fell asleep in my mumz room so there isn't anyway we wud have been able to go anyways. My older sister is SUPER pissed about it though.

Who said? Who said you're not perfect

I'm a horrible driver.....

Panic! At the Disco/DRAMAY STUFF

*pointz at title* random video in my subscriptions that I am apparently falling behind on yet againnn >:\

Anyways So today was a Tuesday...of course you all know that...but you might not know about the DRAMA of this particular Tuesday that my friends decided they wanted to go down.
So today at lunch, one of my friends, Tim, was told that he must sit with us by the amazing Me (I'm not that self centered but I did tell him to sit with us). His ex (Catie) was sitting at the table with her oldex/newbf (Daniel). Daniel was just recently broken up with my friend who is the reason why he was sitting at our table (Chelsea). Chelsea had broken up with him on Saturday...Catie started going out with him on Sunday...and apparently Daniel wasn't ever over Catie (which they haven't gone out since last year) and he was always talking about her when he was with Chelsea. So before Tim comes over and sits down...I tell them that Tim is going to be sitting with us. Russell (really obnoxious kid at my school that no one seems to like) was completely against this...along with Catie and Daniel. Catie was because apparently Tim had sent her a threatening messege over facebook and he claims that it was just a message telling her to get over herself (Let me tell you...she needs to). So anyways...Catie really doesn't want Tim around, they used to be close friends but when they "broke up" they had a falling out. Catie claims that they were never going out...I disagree though. She was sneaking around with him because her parents don't like him (Idk why they don't...he's nice). Anyways so they are in this huge "fight" (Tim wouldn't hurt a fly) so they won't sit at the same table as each other.
Tim is the one that normally sits with us. Catie eats in the art room because she doesn't have any friends. Nah that's rather mean of me to say....she eats there because Tim and her broke up. They had their own table because Daniel was now sitting with us at lunch because he was going out with Chelsea. When Tim and Catie broke up (like over a month ago) Tim started to eat lunch with us. Yesterday Catie ate lunch with us (Tim didn't sit at the table). I made a huge deal out of it...so Tim sat at our table today. Catie and Daniel tried to pull out the whole senority card even though there was 4 of us that wanted Tim at our table and only 3 didn't want him. Tim arrives and sits down. Catie and Daniel get up and leave. Later Daniel says sorry to Tim (Catie is bossing Daniel around and he feels bad about it but he is completely smitten for her). He tells Tim that Catie's mom says that she isn't to talk to Tim, which is stupid because she doesn't want to talk to him anyways. I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow with this whole DRAMA thing. Catie isn't going to be sitting at our table if Tim isn't though and there is nothing Catie's mom can do about it.
Catie is a little self centered but she is not going to be allowed to be a bitch to MY friends. I might not know the whole story, but I know that I don't trust her and that I trust Tim way more than her. She is also so mean and she flirts with everyone so she deserves to have something blow up in her face. Sorry if that sounds mean...but she is treating others the way she wants to be treated (Golden Rule FTW) and I'm going to stick to that.

Rolling in the Deep

I'm just going to start using whatever on youtube I am listening to as a title for these posts unless i can come up with something more creative....So today I had school and I ate lunch....uggg....I had a nice workout in Early Bird PE though and I have been fidgeting all day cuz its what I does.
I've been working on roadtrip destinations and I have a whole list of places that I could go see (most of them are outdoors) See what you think of them....
Saddle Mountain State Park; World’s Largest Sitka Spruce; Idaho Fall; CRATERS OF THE MOON NATIONAL MONUMENT; Legend Rock; Thermopolis; BLACKFEET INDIAN RESERVATION; TROY: KOOTENAI FALLS; DECEPTION FALLS 
I'm not sure where else to go so it's all really random from this website that I found....http://www.roadtripusa.com/routes/oregontrail/oregon/or_sunset.html

Anyways....School sucks big time...lolz I told my Early Bird PE teacher that I wish I had dropped out of school when he joked that he thought I had dropped out since he hadn't seen me yet and all...Hilarious stuff :) I would love if summer would come soon....I really don't have much to say right now...so I shall say something else later...I have to do my horse chores still tonight anyways. 
These are my babies...the brown pony is Birthday Party though we sometimes call him Party Pooper (he has a lot of nicknames). The piebald one that is really mine...I chose him when we went to buy horses and all...his name is Marble Cake. He has a lot of nicknames too, but I can't think of any right now. I outgrew Marble Cake though so I have to teach my little sister how to ride so she can ride my baby instead of me :) Plus I'm gonna have to start riding Party because my older sister is leaving for college next year and he will need someone to ride him and get him tamed enough for my other siblings to ride so that when I leave in 3 years they are experts at riding and being riden. 

Mindset-Every Avenue

Keep your mindset on the most important things that you have in your life :) I kinda like this song :P haha

Roadtrip planning!

Well this summer my aunt and me are planning on going on a roadtrip and I have to come up with places that we should go to! We want to end up at a beach and are headed west towards Oregon. So if anyone could give places that are kool places to visit between Oregon and Iowa that would be awesome. I want to go through Montana and I want to go to a lot of parks. I'm pretty sure that she said the trip was only going to last about a week for the to Oregon part....so that limits what we can do. I'm a history freak so museums are always interesting but I would prefer outdoor places to stop at. I've never been on a Roadtrip before so I could really use some help please!

Vacuum killer be me

HaHa so I decided to clean my room (again) since my older sister who shares a room with me wasn't home. So I cleaned it all and was dancing while I randomly folded her laundry (I'm like a maid or something to her I swear). I got exercise in though :) I'm working on getting all the dirty laundry washed now (which there is a lot of). I don't think it will get put away this time though because she is mad that I put her stuff that I found on the floor on her bed. The stuff that she had thrown off her bed in the first place when she was cleaning her bed. Yeah...that's right she cleans her bed by throwing her trash and stuff on the floor. Or she puts it on my side of the room so I pick it up....I'm a clean freak so yea. Anyways....I was vacuuming and the vacuum started making these weird sounds (which made sense because the floor was DISGUSTING!), I noticed it wasn't picking anything up though, so I turned it off and got down to look to see if it was clogged up or something. There was smoke pouring out of it >:\ So now my room smells really really bad and that gave me a headache (along with my older sister arriving home and yelling at me for cleaning our room yet again). I have done this before and got the same reaction....
Well....while I was cleaning my siblings and dad went on a bike ride :c I didn't get to go with. I am having horrible cramping so I really am not enjoying the last day of spring break....School is tomorrow and I don't even wanna go to it. Oh and another problem....I only have a weeks worth of my antidepressant meds left and I can't even get more until May! (I was overdosing on them)...So my mood is going to go dramatically downhill most likely.

I really like this person's eyes :) They are so Beautiful! She has the same hair color as me at the moment....until I decide to dye it again. Though my black hair has red highlights in it because we ran out of black dye. My hair used to be red...though its originally burnette. :)

POPCORN!

Ok...until after my curse goes bai bai I am going to frikken eat like none other! I can't help it really....I can't not eat when I'm on my period because of the fact that I always seems to faint during it....I've fainted in church before because of it...NOT FUN. Though I must say church isn't fun either way...So I didn't do what I said I was going to do...my parents dragged me to town with them instead of letting me go on my bike ride and all that jazz. Since my sister isn't home tonight though guess who gets to do w/e she wants :P *plans on working out til she drops* I am going to eat popcorn first though...and watch a movie while I'm working out....I am so cold :c Hopefully I can get myself warmed up :)
Well my sister is kicking me off the computer so I will chat with you later! TO THE POPCORN (yes i'm a little obsessed with popcorn) Here are some quick pictures of popcorn because I love it so much :)

Hmmm I wonder what movie I should watch..... :\

Damn I wish I was that skinny!

Oh Joy

Greattttttttttttttttt....My monthly curse has arrived. If anyone has any suggestions on how to shorten it I would love to hear them. I have heard drinking lots of water will help...So I plan on drowning myself in water...and taking hot baths...and exercising like none other....I will be completely exhausted by the time my period ends. Hopefully I can get it to shorten though...I hate my period so much.

Butttttt on a happier note....today is SATURDAY! lolz :) I want to watch X-men because I started it yesterday before I was black mailed into going to my gmas (ok I wasn't blackmailed I wanted to go). So I hopefully will be able to watch that...but I'm thinking that before I watch that it is time to go on a really really long walk with my dogs or on a bike ride since I don't run. And then when I get back I shall lift some weights and do some abs and all that good stuff. :)

Sweeney Tod

I have to say...I had no clue what Sweeney Tod was about at all until to night when I saw it! The actors/actresses were Amazing singers and it was just great :) There was that lil kid I think his name was something with a T...Idk he worked for Tod's first victim and then Mrs. Lovetts or w/e her name was.
I greatly enjoyed the show anyways :)

So if case you didn't know what Sweeney Todd was about...Its basically about Revenge and people being baked into pies. That's really the gist of the whole play. Except for Sweeney Todd is trying to get his daughter back from the Judge and wants to kill the Judge and Beetle. Oh and Todd's daughter is in love with this one sailor person and the Judge (who Todd's daughter calls father) wants to marry Todd's daughter (who's name is Johanna btw)

Ok I'm tired now so I shall ttyl...Oh and I read these great tips on losing weight and keeping people from noticing that you aren't eating and all that stuff....theres a link that I posted on my Ash Wednesday post in the comments...I'll also put it in this post I guess....One of the tips was to always be fidgeting....and I got that down :) So I guess I lose at least 800calories a day....That's not enough for me though

http://www.2medusa.com/2009/01/anorexic-bulimic-pro-ana-mia-some-tips.html
Website *pointz up* ;)

Thirsty Thursday

No I'm not drinking >.> Though I could totally get that from the title today....but I just stopped by to say that I went to the CoralVille Dam today and that place is hugeeeeeeeeeeee! We climbed up this slope like thing that was by the beach and it was really really steep.

 My brother going down the slope...it's really big.

The wall connecting to the slope....Isn't that huge looking!
After we messed around on that slope thing for awhile at the dam we went over to the spill way...That was awesome :) I would have loved to go swimming in it.

 Spillway...

The Rapids were huge!
That was my day of walking around at the Coralville dam all day. Now I have to go get ready for Sweeney Tod. I'll tell you all about it later!

Silence before a storm

Well this week has so far been eventful...I have gone to a museum in Dubuque Iowa. The mississippi river museum and aquarium. Then on tuesday I went and tried to get my driverz license (failed). That D O T person wasn't the nicest in the world...plus I had to fail @least once so my older sister wasn't the only one to have failed. I can't show my sister up its just not how I roll :). Then on wednesday (today) I went back into D O T and got a realy nice person for my driving test this time. I passed with flying colors(not really I got a 28 when the lowest number that can be missed is 35). Tomorrow I am headed to see the musical Sweeney Tod with some friends and family :) shall be a fun day. I have been eating too much all week and it will have to stop very soon because I dont' know how much more of it I can stand. Whenever I get done eating I feel really sick and don't want to keep it in me but I don't have a choice really because I CAN'T puke it back up and I am unable to get my hands on any laxitives. I'm trying though. After tomorrow I will be back on my policy. I will get my weight down. I swear that I will be happy with my weight again and I won't feel so fat if I just lose a few more pounds. I need to lose some. There is just too many of them too many for me to bear.

19 minutes

Well I recently started to read all of Jodi Picoult's books...I really love her style of writing and how she gives everyone a chance to say their side of the story. I have so far read Change of heart, and now I'm reading 19 minutes...its amazing what can be done in 19minutes of time. I also have read Plain Truth...but I read that a long time ago so don't rem much of it. 19minutes has me thinking about my past skool year...about stuff that I really don't want to remember...that I want to forget but will never be able to.
One of my sorta friends but sorta just hangs out with the same crowd I hang out with committed suicide during school one day a week before Thanksgiving...That I will never forget. I will never forget how horrible I felt knowing that he had been brave enough to do what I never was brave enough to do. Get out of the awful world around us and go some place where we hope will be better...nicer...I will never forget the fact that I had a crush on him. That I loved the way he smiled. That he was troubled and I couldn't help him. I've talked people out of suicide before...just by being there. I was too shy to be there for him though. Too shy to even talk to him really. He taught me alot and I can NEVER forget him. I miss him so much...and I won't let anyone in my life who would understand and would be able to help me through this. All this time I am suffering because one of my kinda sorta friends had to go through such a big change to make his point known. Just like Peter in 19minutes had to do.
Jake...the kinda sorta friend of mine saved my life because I was on the edge of doing something like that...now I just suffer through everyday wishing that I could but knowing how many people would be hurt from it...knowing that I had to stay behind and protect people from having the fate that Jake had to have. I will use his memory to help others that feel like him. I want to help and I want to make Jake be remembered. I can never forget you Jake...I love you <3

Dress Shopping today!

Well...Prom is coming up! and so my mum is taking my sister dress shopping and I just happen to be going with her. I really want to go to prom this year because it is my sisters senior year, except I need a date because I'm a sophomore :c We also are going to HuHot so I'm gonna be breaking my fast because I LOVE HUHOT....I can't not eat there because I never get to go there anyways. This is prolly the last time I'll get to go for the next couple of months. 

After all this shopping and stuff I have a movie party to go to at 7:30....It makes me sad that I'm going to that though because about 5 minutes later I was asked if I wanted to go to this kid I knows birthday party. They going to watch a hockey game that starts at 7....guess who can't go because she already said she would go to the movie party :c *sad face*

Oh well....Spring Break is next week :) I am thrilled. I h8 being at skool....and a break from skool is like a moment in heaven to me 

Disclaimer: I have no clue what heaven is like...Its just a phrase that I am using to day to explain how happy I am about not being in skool.

Ash Wednesday

Oh gosh I feel really sick today. I had to eat lunch because my friends are getting on me about it and then the rest of the day I felt like I was going to puke it back up....and then when I got home my mum made me eat something for dinner (a whole can of refried beans) and I feel really sick again. I mean I understand that I need to eat something before taking my vitamins but I don't think that I needed to eat that much >:\
Next week is spring break and my mum isn't going to be home much....after Tuesday of it I can not eat all I want because I won't be doing anything...I will be continueing to exercise though. Which I found a pro-ana website that gave me some exercises that work pretty good. I shall get you that website later....I can't currently pull it up. And then of course theres this hulu.com workout video with hiphop...that I did in EB PE this morning....great stuff :P
Now I shall go do some random workout until I drop so that I get all these calories that I gained 2day off of me! I must burn calories

Fat Tuesday

Well....for Lent I should give up food c: My mum wud have to go with that right? or I could just do what the Muslims do during their time of fasting...no food or water during the day...can't eat until the sun in completely gone....I think that would be really hard though because I have to drink water....I have problems with fainting if I won't drink water. I read a book once where there was fasting involved like the Muslims do. So hardcore fasting...and the animals in this book had to fast too! It was a good book though....I don't remember what the book was called. I think I own it so maybe its on my book shelf.
Anyways...So today I have eaten 4 small crackers because my friend got me them from her lunch and insisted that I eat them...I completely skipped lunch and she didn't like that....Then when I got home I made my siblings some spicy noodles, I had a small bowl but couldn't eat very much of it because I purposefully didn't make enough for three people to eat it....I made enough for my siblings though.
Then I ate an apple because my mum came home and asked me if I had eaten....That's probably all I'm going to eat today :) Even though my stomach is growling like none other...I keep telling it 2 shut up though :).

The Cheerful Mildred? :P

Lolz so I was really bored the other day and decided that I wanted to make as many peoples day as possible. So I started posting all sorts of comments on all my friends walls on facebook. They are kinda all becoming the same sort of message now, but I am trying to personalize every since one of them :) Most of the people that I have posted to have commented back or told me later that my posts made them smile and that's what I'm aiming for. :) I just want everyone to have a moment of happiness because of my posts.

Uggg another Monday

Lolz today was entertaining I guess.....I had half a container of yogurt for breakfast and finished it after school and then had a rice crispy for lunch. I was really hungry most of the day and didn't feel very good for most of it. I think I got rather dehydrated because I didn't get much to drink like I should have. I forgot to take my water bottle to skool yet again :\....oh well we will just have to remember to tmro....Now I must get to working out for an hour or so....

Weeble, my baby

 He loves to play with anything to find.

 I'm surprised he is looking like that because he is very very very camera shy :)

 This is Weeble and Daisy. Daisy was my dog but she got hit by a car about two years ago. No other dog can beat Daisy in her kindness and no dog can replace her. We have a new puppy now, but Daisy is always in our thoughts.

He wants to play with that apple there, like I said, my puppy will play with anything! I love him <3

To grandma's house we go!

Over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house I went.
Well I spent the day at my grandma's house....and yes I ate a lot of food >:\. With my family we eat everything that is put on our plates as not to upset my gma. I had a slice of pork, 4 tater totters, and 4 carrot sticks. And then we had ice cream :\ but while I was there I was reading a magazine article to help me out with my fatness!
Here's a link to it if you want to check that out. It was actually a nice article in the ladies' home journal (which I never read lolz) It just happened to have it on the cover page so I was intrigued. I shall definitely not be eating much if anything tomorrow! :\

The failure of Friday's movie night :c

Well....the movie was sold out last night so I didn't actually end up going to the movie. Instead I ended up watching movies at my house with my friends. I didn't eat any popcorn at least :)

We watched Cinderella 3....

This movie.....lolz there's owl cults in it! great movie....great movie....

And we watched this movie....which just so you know....like all of the princess fairytales are mixed into this movie! lolz we only watched this because my friend had to get home by midnight so we had to watch a short movie.

My new puppy Reuben

 We greatly tired him out the first day that we got him...He slept quite a bit that day.

 We also found that as a puppy he is a great lapdog....other than the problem we have with him not being potty trained....that's really the only problem with him sitting in our laps

But yea I promised to put pictures of him up here so here we go....My puppy Reuben....My favorite dog Weeble (he's my baby) will have pictures up next! Just have to find the computer that has my pictures of him on it. :)

Movie Night

Wow...this is like the second week maybe third week in a row that I have gone to the movies. I might get popcorn this time though. I haven't had any the last couple of times that I have gone, and I really have a craving for it. Plus I have to get some for my lil sista. Well....I was a good child today and ate like nothing, we had an early out from school and I went out to the trampoline and jumped a bit. Except for the fact it was drizzling out....don't jump on trampolines when they are wet! that is all I have for now I guess.....I'll have something interesting to write soonish.

Whennnnnnnnnnn Pepsi was a baby

Well....maybe a random title there but I just want to say sorry for not posting the last couple of days. Haven't been able to get on the computer much lately. My mum has gotten overlyactive in asking me what I ate for the day and she WATCHES me eat supper now. So I have taken to being active like all the time. Every day when I get home I go out and jump on the trampoline for almost an hour and then my mum gets home and we go on an almost 2 mile walk with my dogs. Then before I go to bed each night I do another workout with the weight machine, the punching bag, and my abs. Have to get me some abs! because of this major set back though, I am having problems with losing all this fat on me. I hate puking, but if my mum doesn't back off I'm going to have to start puking up all my food instead of just not eating it. and I really don't want to have to do that.
Ugg I hear her calling me to dinner now....I'm really not enjoying this much. I don't eat lunch much anymore, except my friends also tell me to eat more. It's getting hard to get thin. It's like no one can see the grossness of me and my fatness. I don't understand it. I really don't.