Canterbury Tales

I am greatly entertained by the Canterbury Tales...so far my favorite is the Merchants tale and I have only sparknotes it :P here is what sparknotes has to say about it!

The Merchant reflects on the great difference between the patient Griselde of the Clerk’s Tale and the horrible shrew he has been married to for the past two months. The Host asks him to tell a story of the evils of marriage, and he complies. Against the advice of his friends, an old knight named January marries May, a beautiful young woman. She is less than impressed by his enthusiastic sexual efforts, and conspires to cheat on him with his squire, Damien. When blind January takes May into his garden to copulate with her, she tells him she wants to eat a pear, and he helps her up into the pear tree, where she has sex with Damien. Pluto, the king of the faeries, restores January’s sight, but May, caught in the act, assures him that he must still be blind. The Host prays to God to keep him from marrying a wife like the one the Merchant describes.


And then this is the sparknotes of the story that I'm actually supposed to be reading and reporting on :)

The Friar’s Prologue and Tale

The Friar speaks approvingly of the Wife of Bath’s Tale, and offers to lighten things up for the company by telling a funny story about a lecherous summoner. The Summoner does not object, but he promises to pay the Friar back in his own tale. The Friar tells of an archdeacon who carries out the law without mercy, especially to lechers. The archdeacon has a summoner who has a network of spies working for him, to let him know who has been lecherous. The summoner extorts money from those he’s sent to summon, charging them more money than he should for penance. He tries to serve a summons on a yeoman who is actually a devil in disguise. After comparing notes on their treachery and extortion, the devil vanishes, but when the summoner tries to prosecute an old wealthy widow unfairly, the widow cries out that the summoner should be taken to hell. The devil follows the woman’s instructions and drags the summoner off to hell.

Oh and the Summoner's Tale is pretty great also...here's sparknotes yet again ^.^

The Summoner’s Prologue and Tale

The Summoner, furious at the Friar’s Tale, asks the company to let him tell the next tale. First, he tells the company that there is little difference between friars and fiends, and that when an angel took a friar down to hell to show him the torments there, the friar asked why there were no friars in hell; the angel then pulled up Satan’s tail and 20,000 friars came out of his ass.
In the Summoner’s Tale, a friar begs for money from a dying man named Thomas and his wife, who have recently lost their child. The friar shamelessly exploits the couple’s misfortunes to extract money from them, so Thomas tells the friar that he is sitting on something that he will bequeath to the friars. The friar reaches for his bequest, and Thomas lets out an enormous fart. The friar complains to the lord of the manor, whose squire promises to divide the fart evenly among all the friars.

Animal of the Day....HONEY BADGERS!!!!!

Honey Badgers plus random stuff about The Friar's Tale from Canterbury Tales :)

Okay never mind....Honey Badgers SUCK....no more honey badgers for mildred....

So I'm doing just what I did yesterday (not doing anything in class cause I'm lazy and it's a friday) My partner is watching a Crazy Demon Cat Talking Youtube video...I haven't seen it but she's dying of laughter over there....

Now I must SparkNotes the Canterbury Tales because the teacher is actually in here today...maybe I'll be able to post again later this hour ^.^ baibaiiiii

Fat Cats~Friar's tale is also a reminder to watch what you wish for, and not to speak without thinking.~

The Friar's Tale, like the Reeve's Tale, seems to exist for a single purpose: the humiliation and degradation of members of a certain profession.

 The Tale begins by exposing the means by which summoners blackmail and extort persons, but does not attack the church system that allows this to happen,

For more information about The Friar's Tale...visit the website I used to find all this information!
http://www.gradesaver.com/the-canterbury-tales/study-guide/section8/

Hopefully it actually saves my grade :P hahahahaha...now if only Chemistry would be able to be saved....

and I was going to post a honey badger on here from the website "badassoftheweek" but I was unable to get my blog to accept it :c
 

Heck Yea

Yay I got on my blog at school! I guess they are letting us blog at school now a days...my day was just made. I'm currently working on my project for the canterbury tales unit in my Brit Lit class. To do this I am just chilling on the laptop during class since the teacher isn't in the room and will do my homework later....oh shoot here comes the teacher....ttfn <3

Back in Action? I think yes?

So I hope that I can get back on here for often. I need to get some stress out of my system which tends to be me just writing about whatever comes into my mind.
Last night my dad got really mad and decided to scare the shit out of his children. I know that families are all fucked-up and all...but still that doesn't make it right to get mad. He is just stressed out about work and all but still! The dog got on his bed.....he freaked out and yelled at the dog who went running. The dog was so scared that he went under out couch, which is a tight fit, to hide from him. All the while my dad is SCREAMING for my little sister to get her ass downstairs and watch her "fucking dog". He throws the couch over and my little sister is down stairs now...yelling at the dog to come in a terrified voice. She takes him upstairs quickly and my dad then leaves the house to go pick up my brother. My little sister comes back down a little bit later and takes a phone upstairs to her room with her...I think she went to call my mom.
When all these tantrums my dad throws started, we were always told to just stay away from him. Go to our rooms or go outside, as far away from him as possible. I was working on my homework at that time so I couldn't even leave the same room because I was on the desktop and I couldn't save what I was doing....I got to go downstairs after I was done with my homework and cry myself to sleep. I think I'm depressed again...oh lucky me....

Then today was an okay day at school...I found out I got a F on my chemistry test, which means my grade is a D because it is so weighted. I didn't expect anything better though because my mind...I have no clue where it is anymore. It just doesn't stay around. This year is so bad for me because I can't focus on anything and when I do I can't remember it. This year is also one of the hardest I've had so far. I have to study harder for chemistry now because I can't afford to keep failing these tests...which are super hard and so much harder to understand than the actual homework is!

I went to the park after school and just hung out there to relieve some stress. It worked until I went to church. Church just makes me more stressed because I know that I need to get home and get my homework done but I have to sit through a retreat that was two hours long. I have early bird tmro and I actually should have been asleep over two hours ago, thanks church.

I'm just so stressed out about something and I have no clue what I'm stressed out about. Everything makes me want to start crying....

Homecoming

So this last week was homecoming week....very eventful? :P
Monday~PJ day
Tuesday~ Twin Day
Wednesday~GenderBender Day
Thursday~PowderPuff Day (cheetahs win!!!!!!!!....junior/freshman team)
Friday~Spirit Day (we win for the first game in like forever)

My favorite day this year I must say was GenderBender Day....all the guys dressed up as girls made my day. It was so hilarious!

Anyways....on Saturday was the dance :)

That's my dress that was made by my Grandma for my mother to wear at her sister's wedding (bridesmaid dress) and my sister altered it in 2009 for a homecoming dress also. My little sister is the only girl in our family left that has yet to wear it :) For my altercation of this dress from what my sister did I made it a little shorter, so it was a little above my knees, put sparkles on it (to hide the stain my mom got on it when she tried to glue it shorter), changed the lace color to silver from black, and took off some of the lace so it wasn't itchy.

This is me and my date that ditched me for like the whole dance...doesn't he look stylish? :P oh and he can't see because at the dance he broke his glasses...this is after the dance at my house for the bonfire. We had a bonfire and didn't get to sleep until around 4-5am :) we are just that kool. Our bonfire mostly consisted of sitting on the trampoline while watching the boys (my brother, my date, and my friend- Paul, Austen, and Dylan) wrestle and try not to be injured when they almost land on top of us. It was great fun though :)

This is the group that I went with minus my date because he failed at passing information on to his father and I had to go pick him up on the way to Huhot. After these group pictures (which are rather blurry) we went into Cedar Rapids and ate at Huhot before walking around the mall (in other words going to Spencer's and Hot Topic) before the mall closed on us. The boys proceeded to play the penis game in the mall and I'm sure we would have gotten kicked out. Then I had to lock the windows in my car because the people in my car (Austen, Paul, and Kyle) were trying to climb out of the windows pretty much while they waved and flipped off the other car that was driving people. Kyle's date (who is the blue dress on the left, Erica) was the only one that didn't distract me while I was trying to drive :P

The dance part wasn't that bad either, though I normally don't like them much. My group kind of broke apart and just my best friends and me ended up dancing while the boys just sat around or outside being lame. There of course was the whole grinding feast of a dance circle going on in the front/middle of the commons where the dance was, but my group actually can dance (sorta) so we don't do the whole grinding nonsense that people seem to do too much of :) My friend, Mariah, had to go home early though because she got sit.... sadness right there...after the dance was the bonfire as I have mentioned and then the girl's and me were in my room for the night...we played truth or date...which ended up being truth or truth.
Isn't it funny how when you are little you always choose dare because you don't want to tell secrets about yourself to others but then when you are older you are scared to do the dares because they get wilder as you grow older? :) The only dare that was done was that I had to put a piece of popcorn on my tongue and my dog was supposed to eat it off my tongue....he ruined the dare though because he is my baby and refused to eat it off my tongue :)

Now I have school tomorrow and am very tired so I will leave you with this.....

Tramp burns are like Tramp Stamps...just less permanent. ~Austen SnySny after getting a burn on the trampoline from wrestling.

BBW's

Well today we didn't feel like going to our church because they were having the whole parish festival thingy there so we went into Cedar Rapids to my gmas church (she wasn't there). The Haitian dancers that were at my school last week (by the way there were Haitian dancers at my school last week) were at this church and I got to see their awesauce dancing again :P I was thrilled because they are so awesome!
Then after that we went to buffalo wild wings and my brother tired the Blazin' sauce. His face went all red and his eyes start to water. Then my mum tried some of the mango hot sauce stuff and she instantly started to cough up a storm because it was HOT oh and she was having allergy problems....
And now I'm working on figuring out the whole car situation for homecoming next weekend...oh the joy....
Oh! and my mum stained my homecoming dress that she was altering for me....it's a dress my grandma made at one point and my sister altered it last year for her homecoming dress!

Posting Posting Posting what is on my mind today

mwahahahaha I'm awesome at posting on a regular basis don't ya think :P I mean I meant to post yesterday...and the day before...I just didn't get around to it :P Oh well...I might get there eventually? :)
Today I had an hour and a half conversation with my older sister on the phone. Most of it was to help me with understanding my pre-calculus homework that I totally fail at learning :) I have a test tomorrow and my sister just taught me everything that I need to know for it in an hour...I think maybe I should try harder to pay attention in class?
I'm currently working on writing chapter three of my story on wattpad, and it is going to be a super long chapter because I just don't want to stop this chapter yet :)
My first early out of the school year isn't until the 21st of this month...sadness. Oh and I want to visit my older brother! :c I'm just going to post this link to a facebook page on my blog because I think that my brother would appreciate some more stalkers :) I started a page for his stalkers (he has a lot) but there isn't too terribly many that are actually liking it. My brother said he would make shirts if we got to 100 likes on his stalker page so yall should like it ^.^


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ethan-Hernandezs-Page-of-Stalkers/137432113006559

And if you don't know who my awwwww-mazing older brother is you are missing out! He is like the best older brother :) and I've never had an older brother before this year haha!

Child Snatchers

So I've been writing this story for awhile now and I just posted another chapter on wattpad.com! Check out my story and get reading :D As I said on my facebook...I greatly advice reading my story because if you don't read it....this is what will happen to you....


You will...

die a very slow and painful death where you will be wake while your bones are slowly cut out of your body. Just think, blood comes pouring out of your body, but the pain doesn't stop. You will most likely go unconscious from blood lose though, so it's a good thing that you only got your legs in your bones tore painfully out. You get your legs amputated and you're put on those IV things to keep you alive. When you wake up again, you are not on any pain medicine so it really hurts and you will be asked if you want to read my story yet or not...you might say yes (I highly advice it). You might say no though, which would cause your slow and painful death to start right back where we left off, except it would be more painful...more torture...so I advice you to read my story :D

 Child Snatchers

 

My first Hawks game

Well I'm definitely not looking forward to repeating this event again but I will have to in a couple of weeks. I think I made somewhere around $30....
So we were late to getting there because we got the wrong information, so everyone was freaking out that we weren't there on time (an hour late). My group was the first group to actually arrive there for the MV Spanish Trip Club thingy. We were the Sweet Treats peoples and we made shakes and cookies and all of that shtuff. The person didn't tell us right away that EVERYTHING was going to be inventoried at the end so if we gave the little kids a cup of ice cream we had to charge more because otherwise we would be short...
And then it was POURING rain like the whole time and they stopped the game in the middle of it because of lightening so we were there even longer! I was getting very tired by the time we were allowed to close down.
Oh and I want to mention that the whole thing wouldn't have been that bad if it weren't for the number of rude people that were there...and DRUNK...just think about all those drunk drivers *shudders*
When we closed we had to clean up and then FINALLY we were allowed to depart....it was so hot in there that the first thing I did when I got home was take a shower...and then instead of sleeping like I really wanted to (and still am really wanting to) I went to my grandma's to visit with her and my family :D

Oh look

It's another post!

haha well today is like the second day of September so I felt like I should put a post up for this month...Just for the fun of it you know....I don't really know what to say though because I'm still hating school and I'm still working my way through it. We've been in school for like two weeks now I do believe.
I have new friends because of my awesauce brother, Mr. E (who is the older brother I have always wanted).
Tmro I have to work at the Iowa game concession stands to make some dinero for my spanish trip next summer to Guatemala so I will write some more later when I have the time....but I need to go to sleep right now so I can wake up for this whole working all day thingamajig.